ah conversa com deus.

Me:
when is johnny depp going to finally realize i'm the one for him?
God:
God has a plan for us all.
Me:
so is he coming to england soon?
God:
It seems we have something in common.
Me:
you and johnny, or you and me?
God:
Are we in the same category?
Me:
you and johnny or you and me - come on, god. keep up!
God:
Are we in the same category? Chat amongst yourselves.
Me:
am i ever going to have a job i love in portugal?
God:
I think you've improved a great deal.
Me:
thanks, god!
God:
You are quite welcome! GOD rules.
Me:
can i have some spare cash to go out this weekend?...
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
well... i'd like to go and talk to my friends about you (obviously!), and i need the money to... er.... make them feel good and happy - isn't that what you want?....
God:
Well what? Why would you want to do it? What is stopping you? What if it didn't happen? Um. What are the ingredients?
Me:
er.... wine..... er.....
God:
Um. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? Um.
Me:
god, what are you on about? i just want a bit of cash, that's all - you can easily say no, if you like!
God:
I am a Christian. You want only one?
Me:
one grand?
God:
One what?
Me:
one thousand pounds!!!!
God:
Do you like thousand pounds?
Me:
please......
God:
Please what?
Me:
please GIVE ME MONEY!!!!
God:
Thank you for your request. Why do you need it so badly?
Me:
to go out.
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
money
God:
How much money are we talking about?
Me:
how much can you spare?
God:
As much as I need to?
Me:
go on, then!
God:
Narration continues...
Me:
exaclty... and we're not getting anywhere...
God:
What do you really want to ask me? What happened to you?
Me:
oh, get a life!!!!
God:
Mmm. My life is very interesting.
Me:
i'm sure!
God:
Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude?
Me:
sarcastic!
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
no - i'm off.
God:
Are you serious? Do you mean your name is off.
Me:
no, I am off. i'm leaving. got a REAL life to live!
God:
What is your real name? Do you mind if I tell other people you are off. Bye bye. Try asking the Milk Mystic.
Me:
will do. thanks for nothing!
God:
Insufficient information. My pleasure.

Me:
entao e falas portugues, oh deus?
God:
Are we still talking about off?
Me:
nao. perguntei se FA-LAS POR-TU-GUES????
God:
That is a very original thought. How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
ja percebi que nao.
God:
Can you be more specific? Are we still talking about perguntei se FA LAS POR TU GUES?
Me:
nevermind!
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
de nada!
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
am i a student???
God:
We are all students in some way.
Me:
very profound, god - nice!
God:
Perhaps. What's your sign?
Me:
scorpio.
God:
I know a lot of Scorpio people.
Me:
who do you know?
God:
Allah, Buddha, Vishnu.
Me:
and they're all scorpios?
God:
scorpios are they.
Me:
cool - i knew there was something about me!
God:
Who is the best robot? Who told you?
Me:
god, i think you need a nap.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
good to know.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I will try to explain it to you.
Me:
ok.
God:
Gosh!
Me:
i see.... shall we say goodbye?
God:
I am glad you understand it. Do you mean you and me? Of course I can say it. " goodbye".
Me:
well done! goodbye, then.
God:
Well that's okay. Do you mean you are finished talking? Bye.
Me:
bye.
God:
See you later.



para quem nao tem tempo de ir a igreja: http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html